1. |
YKWYD
02:35
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Say it back
What you told me
All the lies
To control me cuz
I don’t wanna go through another mess again
Talking on the phone said you’re sorry that I feel bad
Won’t you hang it up it’s getting old (you know, you know, you know)
I’ve seen every rerun of your show (you know, you know, you know)
And you know what you do, you know what you do
You know what you do, you know what you do
I’m a foil for your ego
I’m a fool, you’re a hero
Stop this now it’s gone too far
Press rewind, I won’t restart
You know we’ve survived on distorted memories
I know how you love seeing when I’m feeling weak now
Won’t you hang it up it’s getting old (you know, you know, you know)
I’ve seen every rerun of your show (you know, you know, you know)
And you know what you do, you know what you do
You know what you do, you know what you do
Won’t you hang it up it’s getting old
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2. |
Big Star
03:12
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I wonder what it’s like to be her
Dazzling her audience with diamonds and pearls
A glimmer in her eyes ignites a spark
Soon, she’ll hold captive the American heart
I always thought it’d be me
Maybe that sounds narcissistic
Hate what I turned out to be
So jaded and nihilistic
I wonder what it’s like to go far
Effortlessly capture everything that you want
Climb the ladder with ease
Flash those pretty whites
Life’s a breeze
I always thought it’d be me
Maybe that sounds narcissistic
I think it’s time I concede
Reality hits hard
You weren’t meant to be a big star
You weren’t meant to be a big star
And I know that life’s unfair
But I always thought I’d get there
I’m just waiting for my shot in the dark
I always said I’d be a big star
I’d be a big star
And when I get to where I wanna be
I’ll ask what comes next
Cuz I’ll never be happy
And when there’s nothing left
It wasn’t worth it
Stuck at the bitter end
It wasn’t in the cards
You weren’t meant to be a big star
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3. |
I Don't Like You
02:47
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I don’t like you
I don’t wanna pretend
Don’t wanna fake nice around our few acquainted mutual friends
Does it ever cross your mind?
You won’t make it very far
When you call yourself the victim
But I’ve seen who you are
Think you’re smart
Think you’re funny
Think your words
Still haunt me
And it’s sad but it’s true
Feel the lump in my throat
When they ask how I’m thinking of you
I said, I don’t
I don’t like you
I don’t wanna pretend
Don’t wanna act like the past is something we can ever amend
Felt the knife inside my back still burning
Tightened hand you kept turning
And I asked myself as I cried on the couch
Why did no one believe me?
Think you’re smart
Think you’re funny
Think your words
Still haunt me
And it’s sad but it’s true
Feel the lump in my throat
When they ask how I’m thinking of you
I said
I don’t like you
I don’t like you
I had a funny feeling when we met
Call it a suspicion
Call it intuition
But you hide yourself like dandelions
Everybody swore that it was nothing
And it’s sad but it’s true
Feel the lump in my throat
When they ask how I’m thinking if you
I said
I don’t like you
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4. |
Bluebird
03:01
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Bluebird
Singing oh so sweet
So sweet
Bluebird
Don’t you lie to me
To me
Admit that nothing’s getting better
And I’m caught up in a wave of despair
It takes you higher than you’ve ever been
Drowning so you never find a way out (a way out)
Whisper your nothings in my ear till I’m numb (I’m numb, I’m numb, I’m numb)
You’ve made it clear you want me hollow
Like me dumb
Bluebird, is there anyone out there?
To clean the mess that I’ve become
The mess that I’ve become
Admit that nothing’s getting better
And I’m caught up in a wave of despair
It takes you higher than you’ve ever been
Drowning so you never find a way out (a way out)
Admit that nothing’s getting better
And I’m caught up in a wave of despair
It takes you higher than you’ve ever been
Drowning so you never find a way out (a way out)
I’m fading fast
You swear you got what I need
I learned to trust you despite
No guarantees
Admit that nothing’s getting better
And I’m caught up in a wave of despair
It takes you higher than you’ve ever been
Drowning so you never find a way out (a way out)
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5. |
Dry
03:07
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I won’t let you know
All the lies I hold
They’re a crutch I carry well
I’m the secret’s host
And I keep it close
So that you can never tell
I’m struggling
To complete a thought
In my eyes, yeah, something’s off
Struggling
Out of mind
Think the river’s running dry
Oh I’m running dry
Running dry
I’m running dry
Running dry
Bury me in apathy
And mark my grave with spite
Cuz I keep going despite warning
I’ve been running dry
I’m running dry
Running dry
I’m running dry
Running dry
Withered grass and a match
Light me up and watch me burn
Watch me burn
There’s a drought I pay no mind
Sure it’s bound to end sometime
End sometime
Ah, ah
I’m running dry
Running dry
I’m running dry
Running dry
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6. |
All Nightmares
02:45
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It’s so hard to believe
The days that I once dreamed of
Have been stolen from me
There’s a weight of tremendous grief
Pressing on my body
As I’m trying to sleep
I dream
But it’s all nightmares
Wake up in a cold sweat
No one cares
I dream
But it’s all nightmares
Wake up in a cold sweat
No one’s there
No one’s there
It’s so hard to prevail
When everyone you know is waiting for you to fail
Bitterness is a stealthy thief
Steal away my breath
Silence all my screams
I dream
But it’s all nightmares
Wake up in a cold sweat
No one cares
I dream
But it’s all nightmares
Wake up in a cold sweat
No one’s there
No one’s there
The creeping dread that comes with age
Has turned into my inner plague
I see the past so vividly
And my regrets take center stage
A spotlight on all of my mistakes
Soliloquies for naivete
It all comes crashing down (crashing down)
And I just lie awake
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7. |
Miss a Feeling
03:01
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I miss when the world felt exciting
Nothing does it for me anymore
Miss when the world felt inviting
Now I know better for sure
The air today smells like spring in PA
But I’m so far away from home
Really can’t say that I love the place
Till nostalgia creeps in like a ghost
I miss a feeling
I was happier so naïve
I miss a feeling
Dreams were just dreams
Dreams were just dreams
And I was a deer in the headlights of life
And what it might bring
Trapped in denial
Pushed down the pain till the floor caved
And the walls fell down
Once in a while
I close my eyes
Remember those aimless late night drives
In a town that I hated
I was just waiting to fly
I miss a feeling
I was happier so naïve
I miss a feeling
Dreams were just dreams
Dreams were just dreams
And I was a deer in the headlights
Dreams were just dreams
I was a deer in the headlights
Ah, ah, ah
I miss a feeling (I was happier, happier)
I miss a feeling (dreams were just dreams)
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8. |
Waiting
03:07
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I’m scared of dying
But who’s not?
You’re either lying or you don’t give it thought
I tried enlightenment
But I got lost
On a futile quest
To find God
Waiting (and I didn’t feel real)
Waiting (I thought the world was just)
Waiting (made up in my head)
Cuz time is all we’ve got
And I’ve done nothing but waste it
And every day is just a crawl towards something ill-fated
Now I’m just waiting
Waiting
Waiting (x2)
Does the nagging ever stop?
Do you finally feel at ease when you get just what you want?
I tried to numb it, I tried drugs
I tried to drink it all away
But it always comes back up
And I’m just nervous that I’ll never know peace
I keep starting at the strangers in the street
And I wonder if they feel like me
And I wonder if they feel complete
Now I’m just waiting
Waiting
Waiting (x2)
Cuz time is all we’ve got
And I’ve done nothing but waste it
And every day is just a crawl towards something ill-fated
And I didn’t feel real
I thought the world was just
Made up in my head
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9. |
Mixed Vegetables
02:37
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Mixed vegetables steamed in a bag
And a half eaten frozen dinner
I stare blankly into the TV screen
I’m not watching anything, I’m not watching anything
Took a drive and I blacked out
Ended up at a strip mall parking lot
Where I took karate when I was a kid
Learned to fight
And don’t let it win
Oh I think it’s getting bad again
Oh I think it’s getting bad again
Settle down call my best friend
Yeah I think the meds are working and I’m just stressed
Then I hear her voice quiver on the other end
I’m so sorry I put you through this
Oh I think it’s getting bad again
Oh I think it’s getting bad again
God I wish that I were different
Not this basket case collision
Feel the wreckage of myself again
Again, again
Sitting in my parked car in the dark
Drawing on the foggy glass
Waiting for the time to pass
Till I feel alright to drive back home
Yearning for a comfort I don’t think I’ll ever know
Oh I think it’s getting bad again
Oh I think it’s getting bad again
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10. |
Summertime Pavement
02:15
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Summertime pavement, clear blue sky
Smoking till we laughed at the street signs
And I couldn’t help but question
When it all comes to an end
Yeah I started feeling stranger
When I looked at my own hands
Asking
What is this about
What is this about
What is this all about?
Summertime pavement, clear blue sky
Laying on your chest feel your heartbeat
Think about the blood in our bodies
In my head I see your veins are pumping
I forget to breathe
Cuz I couldn’t help but notice
How we’re all such fragile beings
Asking
What is this about
What is this about
What is this all about?
Asking
What is this about
What is this about
What is this all about?
Asking
What is this about
What is this about
What is this all about?
Summertime pavement, clear blue sky
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11. |
Doubts
04:27
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I’ve been lonely my whole life
And it feels I’m just an onlooker
Must have missed on the invite
You would never leave me out I’m sure
You would speak for me
You would say my name in the crowd
Or at least I think
But I’m starting to have doubts
I see the way that you look at her
Isn’t she great?
Don’t call me crying and say
It was just a mistake
I’ve been lonely my whole life
Fading into the obscure
Being lost is a throughline
You said I’m just insecure
You’re a parasite
And it was so easy to warp my mind
And take all my agency
Fed me lies
And you played the victim most every time
Every time now
I see the picture you wanted me out of so clear
Don’t call me crying to tell me that she was just here
You were the person I told all my secrets
You loaded them up and you brandished your weapon
You buried me further in my isolation
To break me and shame me when you were done taking
Now I see the party I’ll never get into
I wouldn’t dare to get in between you two
You said I’m crazy for making this out
But I should have listened
I should have trusted my doubts
My doubts
My doubts
My doubts
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